sick

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 19:59:10 GMT

i met a girl her name is tosha
she is spectacular

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 21:17:33 GMT

i have done so well lately:) i am very proud of myself. now i just have to get myself up in the morning to exercise (i do in the evening but it doesn't feel like enough)

how weird....

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 13:32:39 GMT

i went on a very casual date with this nice guy last night. i thought i would really enjoy myself but as it turned out i just felt REALLLLLLY akward:/ i am not ready to date anyone yet. the whole time it just felt really wrong. ugh. i should have known i wasn't ready yet but noooo i would rather do things the hard way. oh well.
i must be off to school! everyone have a spectacular day:)

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 21:27:48 GMT

Hero
Written by M. Carey and W. Afanasieff

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away, hey yeah
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 14:44:31 GMT

so things have been going rather swimmingly.... i got called into work last night even though i really had to clean my room but then my friend jada came over and helped me and made it go way faster. i should be at school right now but i hit the "off" button on my alarm clock instead of "snooze" so i am running a tad late.
tonight i am going to see blade:trinity (finally!!) and i am going to see cursed (with christina ricci) i am so excited!

~payday is in 2 days~

lyrics of the day- alien ant farm

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 17:37:07 GMT

Movies

At slow speed we all seem focused
In motion we seem wrong
In summer we can taste the rain

I want you to be free
Don't worry about me
And just like the movies
We play out our last scene

Two can play this game
We both want power
In winter we can taste the pain

In our short years
We come a long way
To treat it bad and throw away
In our short years
We come a long way
To treat it bad and throw away

I want you to be free
Don't worry about me
And just like the movies
We play out our last scene
You won't cry I won't scream

In our short years
We come a long way
To treat it bad and throw away
And if we make a little space
A science fiction showcase

In our short film a love disgrace
Dream a scene to brighten face
In our short years
We come a long way
To treat it bad just to throw it away

I want you to be free
Don't worry about me
And just like the movies
We play out our last scene
You won't cry I won't scream

yummy coffee

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 17:29:37 GMT

i am prancing about getting ready for work....
i just threw away a box of pizza rolls my mother bought....she is conspiraing against me...
i am very excited because this friday i am going to get a 76 hour pay check *dances*

last saturday i went to a party with a couple friends from beauty school, i met a bunch of new people (all guys actually) and they were all very sweet country folk. one guy saw my gauged ears and said "i've never seen that before!" i was thinking....so you never leave your house then? lol. it was fun, i stayed up till 5:30 and then woke up 3 hours later. and that night i watched the paris hilton porn for the first time. it wasn't that impressive but i really like her hair short, she looks adorable! i think her long extensions just overwhelm her little frame...and they look white trash too.

but anyway! we got really bored at work last night so we re-colored my hair (it really needed it) i have had my hair dark purple for like 6 months now.... i am very proud of myself, usually i get bored with color sooner than that...say 5 months sooner than that. the girl who did it did a very good job.

tralala...i must go get dressed and be on my way.... goodbye my children!

lyrics....trent

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 00:44:56 GMT

"That's What I Get"

just when everything was making sense.
you took away all my self-confidence.
now all that i've been hearing must be true.
i guess i'm not the only boy for you.
but that's what i get
that's what i get

how could you turn us into this?
after you just taught me how to kiss you.
i told you i'd never say goodbye.
i'm slipping on the tears you made me cry.

but that's what i get.
that's what i get.
for trusting you.
that's what i get.

why does it come as a surprise.
to think that i was so naive.
maybe didn't mean too much.
but it meant everything to me.

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 00:35:58 GMT

FUCK YOU. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST FUCKING TOOK WHAT WE HAD AND FUCKING SPIT ON IT.

lyrics of the day-trent

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 04:20:12 GMT

The Perfect Drug"

I got my head but my head is unraveling
cant keep control can't keep track of where it's traveling
I got my heart but my heart's no good
you're the only one that's understood

I come along but I don't know where you're taking me
I shouldn't go but you're wrenching dragging shaking me
turn off the sun pull the stars from the sky
the more I give to you the more I die

and I want you

you are the perfect drug
the perfect drug
the perfect drug
the perfect drug

you make me hard when i'm all soft inside
I see the truth when i'm all stupid-eyed
the arrow goes straight through my heart
without you everything just falls apart

my blood just wants to say hello to you
my fear is warm to get inside of you
my soul is so afraid to realize
how every little bit is left of me

take me with you
without you everything just falls apart
it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 03:59:45 GMT

i don't think i have ever been quite so miserable in all my life. i feel like i am lost without noah. i love him so much. i have never loved anyone so much in all my fucking life. i don't even care if he does drugs. i just want him back:(

lyrics-destiny's child

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 15:16:42 GMT

Baby I See You Working Hard
I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
Don't Know If I Need To Reassure You, My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You (Yeah)
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter

Let Me Help You
Take Off Your Shoes
Untie Your Shoestrings
Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Supply Ya
Sing You A Song
Turn The Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy

Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man;
I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You

Baby I'm Happy You're Home,
Let Me Hold You In My Arms
I Just Want To Take The Stress Away From You
Making Sure That I'm Doing My Part
Boy Is There Something You Need Me To Do
If You Want It I Got It
Say The Word I Will Try It
I Know Whatever I'm Not Fulfilling
Another Woman Is Willing
I'm Going To Fulfill Your Mind, Body, And Spirit

I Promise You
I'll Keep Myself Up
Remain The Same Chick
You Fell In Love With
I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right
I'll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits
When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You, I'm Here To Serve You (I'm Lovin It, I'm Lovin It)
If It's Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy
All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy

I Want To Give You My Breath, My Strength, My Will To Be Here
That's The Least I Can Do,
Let Me Cater To You
Through The Good
The Bad
The Ups And Downs
I'll Still Be Here For You
Let Me Cater To You
Cause You're Beautiful
I Love The Way You Are
Fulfill Your Every Desire
Your Wish Is My Command
I Want To Cater To My Man
Your Heart
So Pure Your Love Shines Through
The Darkness We'll Get Through
So Much Of Me Is You
I Want To Cater To My Man

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:56:15 GMT

watch me kill myself
you see it everytime you look at me
watch me suffocate
you help everytime you pressure me
watch me dissapte
you see it everytime you look away

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:23:49 GMT

You need guidance.
You have become very confused in your life
right now and are unable to make decisions that
pleases you. You may resort to drastic measures
as harming yourself, but the situation doesn't
seem to get any better by whatever method you
are using for now. There is a pain inside
because of this and you feel helpless in your
life, thinking you will never find your way
back. But even though the path may seem dark
you still try to find yourself, which means
your inner battle is not over.

What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

to the one i called my soulmate

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:15:14 GMT

i close my eyes and i am in your arms
everything is alright and i am safe from harm

i close my eyes and i can feel you lips on my skin
suddenly my life is being revived from within

i close my eyes and you still love me
no more tears, cuz here you'll be

i close my eyes and i find perfection in my mind
but in reality you've gone and left me behind

lyrics of the day blink 182-always

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 15:27:50 GMT

"Always"

I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
And your hands they shake with goodbyes
And I'll take you back if you'd have me
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready

Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always

And I'll miss your laugh your smile
I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me
I'm so sick of fights, I hate them
Lets start this again for real

So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready

Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
(Come on let me hold you) Touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always

I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying

Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always
(Come on let me hold you) Touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always

Always..

Always..

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 01:37:40 GMT

coffee is fun for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lyrics of the day- trent

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:54:12 GMT

"Something I Can Never Have"

I still recall the taste of your tears.
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore.

Come on tell me.
You make this all go away.
You make this all go away.
I'm down to just one thing.
And I'm starting to scare myself.
You make this all go way.
You make this all go way.
I just want something.
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now.
This thing is slowly taking me apart.
Grey would be the color if I had a heart.
Come on tell me

In this place it seems like such a shame.
Though it all looks different now,
I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see.
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be.

I just want something.
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:48:01 GMT

all i ever wanted was to be perfect for you. whatever you wanted me to be. i forgot myself when i was so lost in you. and you when you left me you took all that was left of me. now i am nothing. i have to learn to live without the one i called my soulmate.

matchbook romance-lyrics for the day

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:38:34 GMT

"Promise"

What would you say if I asked you not to go
To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight,
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like goodbye?
These memories can't replace,
These wishes I wished and dreams I chased
Take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please don't, well please don't leave me

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy (easy, easy, easy...)

Take my hand and never let me go,
Take my hand and never let me go,
Promise me...
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
Make this last forever

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know, you're not making this easy

You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy

I'll fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you

song of the day

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:33:49 GMT

smashing pumpkins-zero

My reflection, dirty mirror There's no connection to myself
I'm your lover, I'm your zero
I'm the face in your dreams of glass
So save your prayers
For when you're really gonna need 'em
Throw out your cares and fly
Wanna go for a ride?

She's the one for me
She's all I really need
Cause she's the one for me
Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness And cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me Intoxicated with the madness, I'm in love with my sadness
Bullshit fakers, enchanted kingdoms
The fashion victims chew their charcoal teeth I never let on, that I was on a sinking ship
I never let on that I was down
You blame yourself, for what you can't ignore
You blame yourself for wanting more
She's the one for me
She's all I really need
She's the one for me
She's my one and only

inspiration

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 20:14:02 GMT

http://suicidegirls.com/join/gallery/75/

if anyone cares, be worried. worrying shows you care. if you care that means i am still here

emo whiney bullshit

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 19:58:45 GMT

i am so incredibly miserable for about a million reasons. i am fucking sick (i finally went to the doctor this morning and got meds) i am in serious self-hatred mode at the moment because i just got senior pics back and i am really unhappy with my body. and to make everything a little more interesting i have never felt more alone, or abandoned in all my life. i feel like no one fucking cares. :)

that is my bitching for the day

lyrics of the day

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 19:36:44 GMT

Think of me
think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me
once in a while -
please promise me
you'll try.

When you find
that, once
again, you long
to take your heart back
and be free -
if you
ever find
a moment,
spare a thought
for me

We never said
our love
was evergreen,
or as unchanging
as the sea -
but if
you can still
remember
stop and think
of me . . .

Think of all the things
we've shared and seen -
don't think about the things
which might have been . . .

Think of me,
think of me waking,
silent and
resigned.

Imagine me,
trying too hard
to put you
from my mind.

Recall those days
look back
on all those times,
think of the things
we'll never do -
there will
never be
a day, when
I won't think
of you . .

We never said
our love
was evergreen,
or as unchanging
as the sea -
but please
promise me,
that sometimes
you will think of me

song of the day....

Mon, 30 May 2005 18:11:23 GMT

"We Belong Together"

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I couldn't have fathomed that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself

'Cause I didn't know you
'Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, 'cause baby

When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
We belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me
'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby

When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
We belong together